so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
