He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
we're so committed to being not committed
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