Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
