you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
