pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
