bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
