her vagina looked like bernie madoff
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize