Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
