I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
