and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
