If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
bring money and cleavage
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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