Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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