She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize