i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
