Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
