TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
