i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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