I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
