she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
