Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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