My sheets look like a crime scene.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
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