Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
