I could make wine with my vomit
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
