guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
