ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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