My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
smell my finger.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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