my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
nutella sex= disaster
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
