Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
