I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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