yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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