is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
