What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
