I wannas sexs uuuuu
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
