in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
