I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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