Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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