I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
