Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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