Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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