i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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