Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
God, you're like boner-b-gone
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
What a dumb baby whore.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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