i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You pole danced in your parka.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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