Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Randomize
