I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
