It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
