is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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