I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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