Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
