The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
