Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
