there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize