haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
