I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
