sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
