Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
