He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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