yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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