So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
