Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
you never un-have a 4some
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Randomize
