Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.

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(954): View more from Florida

i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night

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(772): View more from Florida

I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.

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(812): View more from Indiana

Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started

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(336): View more from North Carolina

I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.

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(256): View more from Alabama

Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?

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(417): View more from Missouri

She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.

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(503): View more from Oregon

You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement

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(662): View more from Mississippi

Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.

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