There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
this just has baby written all over it
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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