Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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