we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
