In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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