# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
