Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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