Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
