I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
