Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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